Day Three - Wednesday

I was at the sex clinic all day and then off to see clients.
All day long I wanted to eat soup and have wine. I have to say that I really wanted wine. That's where it was at. That craving. That desire. I wanted a different taste in my mouth. Today was the hardest day. The hardest. I was going to stop by the store and get soup. Soup. Sweet soup. I want to make some homemade soup.
Today I really felt bloated and not bloated. It was like not gassy bloated but rounded belly.
Oh and yes, today was the first real day of my period.

Well I haven't stopped yet but 7 days seems like a less likely thing.

I miss working out. I miss running. I want to go to the gym tomorrow. I think I will. It's been like almost a week since I last worked out.

I am glad that I am resetting my body. I can tell by the poo that there was something not right in my system. The only time I have ass air now is when I drink the tea. Last time, the dark poo didn't last for three days I don't think.

Tomorrow is a new day. Got to get this internal digestive system ready.

Day Two - What Fresh Hell Is This

Day Two begins with an early morning pee. It's roughly 3:37a in the morning and I go pee. No biggie. About 20 minutes later, I feel horrible horrible gas pains rumbling in my gullet. I am like "Don't fart because it's probably poo." So I get up. I go to the toilet and fart. It's just gas - success.
Back to bed. Gas pains. Toilet. Ass air.
Back to bed. Gas pains. Toilet. Disgusting dark brown material. Success.
I have to wake up in two hours to get to work and I tell you it was not easy to wake up at that hour, chug the salt water, poo and then get ready for work.
Today was rough! I had cravings all day long. There were cookies and taco salads for lunch. I mean it was rough. I was not in the mood at all. I wanted to be done.
Then after another 12.5 hour day at work, I had to run effin cat errands. I was not loving life at this moment and thought to myself, "Nuts to this."
Then I got home and drank the delish lemonade and all was right with the world.
I drank my tea (but put a little maple syrup in it). Had to wake up to pee again but that was all.
Off to bed.

Day One - Monday

Well I woke up this morning and whipped up a batch of the old salt water for the flush. I have to say I woke up excited about it but also not super excited. But whatever, I was going to do it.
I stood there and chugged that water. That cracker juice tasting water. UGH! It's effin foul but now we play the waiting game.
After getting ready for work, it hits me!!! BOOM!!! The might might poos.
It's disgusting.
This dark disgusting repugnant material.
I chill at home for a while and head to work.
I had a few hunger pains but managed to make it. I did work 12.5 hours so I had some distraction.
I made it home and had the tea.
The bowel moving tea.
Fast forward to Day Two...

January 2010 - New Year. New Attitude

It's a new year and I have to get out of my bad frame of mind. I am hoping to get the apartment downtown. I do really think it will help in my attitude change. Better neighborhood. Better outlook. I hope to find out if I get the place by the end of the week. I want this place. I really want the place. It's close to Starbucks, my gym, Whole Foods and transit. Wish me luck on that one.

Since it is a new year, I am doing the Master Cleanse yet again. I don't think that I will be able to go the full 10 days but a week (7 days) should be okay. I will be updating the experience day by day on this blog.

Night One: I have taken the Smooth Move tea. I'll have to wake up early to make sure all starts off well...if you know what I mean. Also I was reminded that I need to get some "loo paper" as I have only one roll left.

Stay tuned and Happy 2010!

It's Been A Long A Time

I'm watching Assault in the Ring on HBO and thinking about being here in Philly. I miss New York and feel totally out of place here. There's a sense of superiority and insecurity. I feel like this place is nothing but a den of drug users and recovering addicts. They all have tattoos on the top of their wrists, font and writing, names of their children and lovers and girlfriend and boyfriends. You cannot go down the street without seeing it. I just think everyone I see is tacky. The woman are fat which I find unappealing and pathetic. The way you have to buy beer and wine is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. My old boss "Mama KK" said that me moving here was like a "big fish in a small pond." Then we have one of the ladies that I work with who asked me where I shopped because the way I dress is much nicer (and more expensive looking)than anyone else who works there at Keystone. Saying something like that only adds fuel to the fire.
Then there's the other side. Because in my mind there is this "superiority" thought going on, I look around and see that I'm not like these people. I feel awkward and removed and it isn't racial. It's everyone, Center City, University City, Chester, wherever.
I feel like I have been here for three weeks (I guess) and I have thrown myself into work and into fixing up the apartment. I've been dealing with the everything in a better way than I would if I were in NY. I would have been rampaging self-destruction. Now I'm realizing how afraid I am. Because of that fear, I'm not willing to go out in Philly. Not yet. The apartment is my happy place but then what. I feel like I'm denying myself who I am...well a part of who I am.
I was living with such guilt. I had to work through it in some way.
Holy shit. I realize I'm surrounded by drug addicts ALL DAY. I'm gonna need to chill out and create a life here.
There's nothing for me in NY anymore besides good people and memories.

Fourth of July

The day started off as any other. I woke up at 11a since that's what I do now (sleep in). I went to the gym for a nice invigorating 5 mile run. I had to rush it b/c we were having Brook's First Year birthday party at out place and I was in charge of procuring the crudites. Brook is Jack's goddaughter and the kid of Lydia (black) and Jack Beatle (white alcoholic who watched my masturbate with my chrome vibrator once).
I rushed to do my part for her big day. Prior to this, Johnny Kitchens and I had decided to hang out since we didn't have any plans for the Fourth.
JK and I had started texting after he attended my graduation party. Matter of fact, Rattana, Carl and I had gone to Brooklyn to kick it with Johnny at his BBQ. We had a blast to say the least.
JK came over to Book's party as did the Ratt (aka Bouncy Bouncy). So random. Everyone thought he and I were together. Funny. At one point, he did ask me to sit on his lap. Who am I to say "No?"
Later on, I get a text from new gay friends who I met on Gay Day. I love them! They were having a gay party. Of course we had to go. The gays have the good stuff. So we packed up and headed to E77th!! HOLY SHIT! Yeah. I went.
Whilst there, JK and I totally made out. I told him that he and I were going to have the sex. He said "Ok but no dating." I was like "Whatever."
The night was going swimmingly until around 9p. Up til to then, I was for sure going to nail JK. Then I saw that text message. Josh..."Fuck! Why can't I stop thinking about fucking you?" What more could a girl ask for?! So romantic and charming. I told him to come to this party ASAP. I had just "gotten down to business" with a lil' smthg smthgs. Josh rushed up. From that moment on, I don't think I even talked to Johnny Kitchens. Horrible I know.
Josh and I bounced at around 1:00a. I went go into details. Let's just say my elbow, shoulder and wrist were fucked for two-three days. The interesting point of this story is what happened whilst we were together. It slipped out of my mouth. I love you. His response was, "I love you too." We even talked about getting back together.

Philly...I Don't Know About This

I was in Philly (the 'Illy) not just Tuesday but also Wednesday. UGH!! Do you have any idea what's it's like to get up at 5:30a then again at 6:00a two days in a row?
Well I got down there primarily b/c I had an interview with this inpatient drug rehab spot in Chester PA. Chester PA in case you aren't aware is where my Doctoral program will be next year. Matter of fact, this rehab place is right across the street from Widener campus.
Anyway so b/c I was going anyway I set up a bunch of places to see.
I get to 'Illy and head to the first spot. It's on 48th and Walnut. Close to my class and not too far from the "subway." The neighborhood was less than desirable. Not like I'm going to get murder-raped just that it isn't pretty, like the West Village. It's in University City which I'm going to pretend is a "transitional neighborhood." I didn't see a grocery store or a Starbucks...hell! I didn't even see a bar! What I did see was a high school right across the street and some bodegas. It's Bed-Stuy (I imagine. I've only been to Bed-Stuy once...no twice. Thanks Benny and Adam).
The real estate lady walked up and we entered the abode. She opened the door and my first internal reaction was "HOLY SHIT! This is cute!" I totally started placing where the furniture would go. Let me describe it to you:
When you walk in, you see one room (it is a studio after all). You see the shiny hardwood floors. You see the light coming through the windows (it's on the 3rd floor of an elevator building). To your right, you see the kitchen. I walked in and said hello to the man cleaning the new electric stove. "Hello man." The kitchen is bright and sunny. There's room for a table and chairs! People can actually hang out with me in the kitchen whilst I cook. Back to the main space...
...I walk over to see the bathroom which is the left of the entrance. There's a nook by the bathroom. I can set up a desk and laptop and make myself a computer nook. UNREAL! That bathroom is a decent size (bigger than what I have now) and with a tub, not that I'm a "bath girl." There is adequate closet space. There is room for my bed, my two and a half wardrobes. my nightstand, drawer, core ball, and Cassan, our green street chair!!! $600 a month excluding electric and cable.
I saw three more places that day. CARPETED!
The interview went well.
Headed back to NY. Went to bed. Woke up and headed back to Philly to look at more places. I was desperate to get this shit D.O.N.E.
I saw some more places in Center City (aka Downtown). There weren't pricey but the layouts were off and they all had carpet. Not sure why people in the 'Illy opt for carpet over hardwood. The carpet honestly made the spaces look smaller. Is that even possible? Anyway, I was sold on the very first place I saw.
Well...no one mentioned that you can't use personal checks. I scrambled for two hours trying to get $650 to put down a security deposit only to find out that b/c I was using my card in Philly and tried to take out more money than I was allowed at an ATM, WaMu blocked my card from use. The customer service person I spoke FAILED to mention this therefore I couldn't use my card at all while I was in Philly. It wasn't until I hopped on a train back to NY and was speaking to WaMu that I was told the truth. DICKS!
Anyway got the word today that I got the apartment. HOLLER!